As parents, we have all been there! We’ve yelled and nearly pulled our hair out over our kid’s procrastinating and disorganization. “What do I have to say to get you to _____?!” Or “didn’t I tell you to ______?!” Helping guide our children to learn to do things independently as they grow is a basic part of “parenting.” Sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes not so much.
New parents will be looking for milestones, often laid out neatly in a “How to Be A Parent” books. We know when to expect the baby to hold their head up, crawl, grow first teeth and utter first words. We know that learning to brush their teeth and tie their shoes are rites of passage. But what about all the other things, like knowing how to get themselves ready for school, remembering homework, how to keep track of their schedule, how to get to classes independently?
For most students, these things just naturally fall into place. They’ll listen to what their parents advise, learn some “tough lessons,” watch what other kids their age are doing and just do it. But for others, these things just don’t fall neatly into place. They struggle behind their peers and can lead a somewhat (or very) chaotic life. The differences may be subtle, but they may be glaring.
This area of learning is now called “executive functions,” a relatively new term. If you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, the term may be familiar. But for parents who have not gone down the diagnostic road, they recognize the symptoms and the mounting frustration, both theirs and their child’s.
What are “executive functions” and why do parents need to know this answer? Executive function is a relatively new phrase attached to an old set of problems. It covers three particular areas: working memory, flexible thinking and inhibitory aka self-control. We develop and strengthen our executive ADHD struggle with executive functions, plenty of people who struggle with executive functions have not been diagnosed with either.
If your student (or you) struggle with executive functions, you may notice some of these symptoms:
- Organizing
- Planning
- Prioritizing
- Focusing
- Starting Tasks
- Regulating Emotions
A person who struggles with executive functions may also:
- Managing Time
- Switching Tasks
- Have Difficulty Changing Routines
- Have Difficulty Locating Their Things
Struggling with executive function isn’t a life-long sentence. These are learned behaviors. By learning to do things differently, people can significantly improve their daily performance, whether it be a simple task they need to remember or need to prepare to enter college and achieve success. Remember, Mom, you aren’t going with your student!
My name is Friday Boyer, and I’m The College Success Coach. I work with college students 1:1 to help them achieve success independently.